How To Get A Girl In Seven Days
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: James is tired of being rejected by Lily and the rest of the Marauders are tired of seeing him depressed. Due to this they decide to help their friend out. Will it work... or will it just make it a hell of a lot worse?
1. The Plan

**A/N: I did a poll on my page about what pairing I should write about next and the result was mainly James and Lily. Although I'm writing another story with them in it which I think should count I've decided to do one anyway. This will probably be two or three chapters long depending on my inspiration and I know this chapter is short but its merely setting the plot up. I hope you enjoy it!**

**DISCLAIMER: If I was JK Rowling then I wouldn't be eating Tesco Value cookies!**

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room was alive with merriment. Empty butterbeer bottles and packets of crisps adorned the many tables; the lamps emitted a cheery glow, banishing all dark nooks and crannys from the place and the fire crackled and popped happily in the hearth as its tendril-like flames quickly devoured the freshly placed log. Gryffindor had just won the first match of the season against Hufflepuff and was celebrating in true style.

As the hour got later chatting groups dispersed and got smaller as the participants gradually climbed up the stone staircases to the promise of a good nights sleep. For one group however it was never too late to have fun. The Marauders sat in their customary place by the fire, basking in the warmth that purged the cold from the room. Generally they were all having a good time. Remus had just beaten Sirius at wizards chess and in the processes added a few more galleons to his small Gringotts account. Peter was curled up on one of the squashy armchairs, sleeping and snoring gently, his dream was a good one if the smile adorning his features was anything to go by. One boy however was not having a good time. The whole evening he had spent dwelling on what his friends could only guess at. His hazel eyes were filled with dejection, his shoulders slumped in defeat and his messy, jet black hair even more ruffled than normally by combing his fingers through it in frustration. The other Marauders thought that the party would have lifted him from his melancholy mood and so left him to disperse whatever cloud hung over his head.

With almost everyone gone from the room James's mood still hadn't improved. Frustrated by his friend's lack of cheer, Sirius strode over to him.

"Can you just tell us what's troubling you? Its getting annoying!" exclaimed Sirius.

"I applaud your tactfulness Padfoot" said Remus sarcastically getting a glare from Sirius in return.

"Hellooo Earth to Prongs" said Sirius, waving a hand in front of the unresponsive boy's face.

"Sorry... what?" asked James, shaken from his despairing reverie by the animagus.

"What's wrong?" asked Sirius simply.

"Lily" came the reply.

At this the rest of the Marauder's groaned. It was a well known fact that James Potter was totally obsessed with Lily Evans, the pretty yet strict know-it-all of their year. For the past six years he had tried to get her to go out with him. Needless to say all of these attempts had failed, often with James receiving a slap instead of the response he wanted.

"What happened?" they all asked in a bored tone.

"She said no again" answered James sadly.

"So what does that make it Mooney?" asked Sirius.

"That makes it 637 attempts since first year" replied Remus, he would have laughed if he never saw how cut up his friend was about this.

"Urgh if she hasn't said yes by now then she never will!" exclaimed James.

"Look if we help you ask her out successfully will you stop pining?" asked Sirius.

"Yes"

"Right well then I have a plan. I know about wooing girls, they don't call me the Sex God of Gryffindor for no reason!" boasted the animagus.

"Actually people generally call you the Man Whore of Gryffindor" said Remus laughing.

"They mean it as a compliment" defended Sirius.

"Want to bet Padfoot!" said James.

"Look do you want my help or not?"

"...Yes"

"Right well here's the plan..." they all crowded closer save for the still sleeping Pettigrew.

* * *

Looking at the fire James saw that only its embers glowed, unearthly in the half light being emitted by the lamps. Shivering slightly as his nerves registered the cold for the first time James glanced at his watch, seeing that it was after midnight he suggested that they wrap it up for the evening.

"Okay but rest assured James, Lily will go out with you before the next week is out" said Sirius.

Nodding happily James clambered upstairs to bed eagerly anticipating the coming week.

Downstairs Remus looked at Sirius skeptically.

"Just how much of that has actually worked?"

"None, but there is always a first for everything."

"Okay but if this doesn't work we're going to have to deal with a crushed Prongs."

"Yes but that is why I have a back-up plan" said Sirius mysteriously.

"What is it?"

"You'll just have to wait and see" replied Sirius before climbing up to the dormitory.

Remus couldn't explain it but for some reason he had an ominous feeling about the coming week.


	2. Monday

**A/N: Okay the original plan was to post all the days of the week in one but I felt it would be better if I spread it out a bit into separate chapters and double up on those that are a bit more on the short side, what would you prefer? I'm sorry if this is awful my sister passed on her illness to me so I'm finding it really hard to concentrate.  
**

**Thank you for the feedback I never expected much interest in this story!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter *sigh***

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

Monday

James awoke feeling a lot more brighter than usual. Usually Monday's were a day to wriggle under the blankets and try and get back to sleep only to be dragged out by an unamused Remus. However today he got up as soon as his alarm went off and got dressed in a frenzy. Looking around the dormitory he saw that he was the only one awake. Disgruntled he pulled everyone's hangings back, exposing them to the sun light streaming in from the windows.

"Nafagumagie" came a noise from Sirius's bed followed quickly by the sound of someone pressing a pillow to their head.

"What the hell!" came an exclamation from Remus's bed.

"Wha!" groaned Peter.

"Come on guys its time to get up" called James cheerily.

"James its only half five!" groaned Remus.

"Oh" came the dejected reply.

"Go back to sleep!" yelled Sirius, half crazed with sleep deprivation, "I need my beauty sleep God dammit!"

"For once I agree with him" said Remus, looking as though it physically pained him to agree with the sleep deprived boy in the corner.

"You know that could be taken both ways" pointed out Peter.

"No it can only be taken one way as we all know I am Adonis!" exclaimed Sirius sleepily.

"But... but..."

"GO BACK TO SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!" came Sirius's strangled cry.

As he watched everyone clamber back in their covers and pull their hangings back round James sighed and followed in suit.

*An hour and a half later*

"Finally! Time to get up!" called James in a singsong voice as he leapt up from his bed.

"Urgh!" yelled Sirius as he pulled himself out of bed.

"Come on!" shouted James.

"James its Monday okay, give us a minute" said Remus wearily.

"Yeah have some patience" piped up Peter.

"Lily will be yours soon, surely you can wait for a few minutes!" added Sirius as he looked under his bed for his trainers.

"Fine"

*Ten minutes later*

"Guys!" whined James.

"Fine, fine I just need to cast the spell first" said Sirius.

The other Marauders watched impatiently as Sirius made an number of elaborate wand movements.

"Is that really a spell?" asked Remus sceptically as they walked down to breakfast.

"Yup, I use it to annoy my parents" replied Sirius proudly.

"Look guys less talking I want to see if its worked!"

Picking up their pace it was with great excitement - and dread in Remus's case - that they entered the Great Hall. At first James never noticed any changes but upon looking at the ceiling his face split into a broad grin. The candles that were normally haphazardly placed were arranged in such a way that they spelt:

LILY EVANS WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?

"How will she know its me?" asked James worriedly.

"Trust me everyone will know its you" replied Sirius rolling his eyes.

This turned out to be true as when James walked over to the Gryffindor table there was much muttering and amused glances. Looking up at the teachers he saw that they too were looking highly entertained by Sirius's spell.

Grabbing a bit of toast James started nibbling on it, waiting nervously for Lily's arrival. The whole Hall is seemed was feeling the same way as when Lily entered everyone went silent, anticipating her reaction.

Lily looked confused for a moment until she glanced up at the candles. Her normally kind face twisted into one of annoyance as she read the message.

"James Potter when I get a hold of you...!" she screamed for all to hear.

"Shit" whispered James as she approached him looking very deadly indeed.

* * *

"Well mate it could have been worse" comforted Sirius as they went out of the Hall.

"And how could it have been worse! My face still hurts!" exclaimed James indicating the red hand mark that adorned his cheek.

"Well she could have done things that hurt a lot more" said Sirius wincing.

"True" concurred James shuddering at the thought.

"Well tomorrow it will definitely work" said Sirius confidently as they entered DADA.

At this Remus suddenly wished he never knew them.


	3. Tuesday

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for the feedback I really appreciate it! If you have any suggestions for ways James can ask her just message me :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter *sigh***

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

Tuesday

"Are you sure this is going to work?" asked James, throwing concerned glances at Sirius.

"Of course it will work it was designed by _me_!" said Sirius pompously, looking at James as if he were a moron.

"I'd stand back" whispered Remus to James as Sirius gave a particularly violent flourish with his wand, the only result was white sparks being emitted from the wood.

"Right, done!" proclaimed Sirius, grinning as if he had just climbed up to Mount Olympus with a toothpick.

Walking back down the corridor they encountered no one. The candles flickered due to the wind being invited in by the half open windows. The shadows elongated creating a sinister effect, and that combined with the semi darkness and the fact it was midnight only made it more eerie.

"Hey I feel like we're in a movie" said Sirius, picking up on the atmosphere.

"Yeah, a horror movie" chuckled Remus.

"Do you doubt my abilities that much!" asked Sirius, sculpting his features so they resembled something that was meant to be close to hurt.

"Well..." said Peter, James and Remus together.

"Thanks guys I really appreciate it! Look if my methods don't work and Lily won't to go out with you then I'll... proclaim my love for Snape in front of everyone in the Great Hall! I'm that confident it will work."

"What if it does work?" asked Remus, his eyes glinting at the prospect of a bet.

"Then all of you have to serenade McGonagall!" declared Sirius triumphantly.

"Deal" said Lupin, shaking hands with the happy animagus.

"Wait I never agreed to this!" yelled James.

"Ah but Prongs, Article Two, Section Five of the Marauder's code states that you must follow through on any deal a fellow Marauder makes on your behalf" said Sirius smugly.

"You just made that up!" accused James.

"Do you dare accuse a fellow Marauder of lying about the code!" exclaimed Sirius, grinning when James backed down.

"This is getting interesting" whispered Remus to Peter.

* * *

"Oh God she's approaching the staircase" whispered James in his communication mirror.

"Haha good luck mate" replied Sirius.

"I don't see why you couldn't be here!"

"Well only one of us could hide behind the statue!"

"Do you honestly have faith in this plan?" asked James seriously.

"I have one hundred percent faith in this plan" replied Sirius smoothly.

"Ah she's starting to climb the staircase!"

Sirius's reply was suddenly drowned out by a loud noise emanating from the unfortunate steps.

Lily's brow furrowed as she tried to distinguish what was causing the noise. Her friend Alice beside her had apparently discovered the source of the problem as she then grabbed Lily's arm and stopped her ascent. Immediately the noise stopped leaving a deafening silence in its place.

Lily tentatively placed one foot on the next step but instead of the unbearable noise the words "Will you go out with me?" were clearly distinguishable.

Seeing she was right Alice burst out laughing - that is until Lily's steely glare hit her. Running up the stairs the noise deafened those in the hall until Lily got to the stop. Smirking she waited for Alice and, when reunited with her friend, she proceeded along the corridor out of James's view.

Grinning James ran back to the common room to report to Sirius.

* * *

"That's what I don't get, she had no reaction to the stairs!" exclaimed Sirius for the umpteenth time.

Walking to DADA, Remus nodded apparently agreeing that Lily should have had some response to the proposal.

"But she never said no, so I'm one step closer!" yelled James excitedly.

"Yes but she never agreed either" said Remus.

"I don't care, at this rate I'm going to assume its a yes" said James excitedly. "I mean normally she hurts or yells at me in some way, this time she just smirked!"

"You never told us that" said Remus worriedly as they approached the staircase.

"Yes but..."

Immediately James was interrupted by a large noise coming out of the staircase.

"What the hell" yelled James stopping dead in his tracks.

Placing his foot on the next step a loud "NO!" sounded, echoing along the corridor.

"But... but... why!" exclaimed James, mortified as everone below and above cracked up.

"Lily would never give up a chance to retaliate James, no matter what" said Remus between bursts of laughter.

"This is war" declared Sirius.


	4. Wednesday

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for the feedback! If you have any suggestions for any ways James can asked Lily out don't hesitate to message me or review, I would appreciate the help.**

**DISCLAIMER: Peacocking was got from the film 17 Again and Harry Potter is still not mine :(**

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

Sirius had taken a serious interest in the next proposal. He spent hours looking over a piece of parchment that was getting more dog-eared as the day wore on. James sent him worried glances all day as he saw the animagus pouring over it at every opportunity he got. Flitwick even scolded him as the wine which he was meant to be turning into water exploded sending a hot shower over all those near. Several cleaning charms later and James felt he never smelt like a drunk, looking over at Sirius again he saw his friend was once again absorbed by the bit of paper. Glancing at Remus he saw the werewolf's features had morphed into concern. Ordinarily they wouldn't be concerned by this behaviour but when Sirius latched onto an idea he never let it go. Never.

That night, hours after Lily's prank, they finally heard what had been bothering the animagus all day. Seeing the insane look in the boy's eyes the rest of the Marauder's visably flinched. This wasn't good.

"Right guys, I've heard of this technique called peacocking. Its when a man wears an outfit that to the ordinary person would look ridiculous but, to the trained eye, is intriguing thereby breaking way for conversation. Since the man is more interesting the woman is more interested in dating him and so the conversation will quickly head to the woman asking the man out to learn more about him" explained Sirius as if he had found the Holy Grail.

"What the hell are you going to do to me?" asked James, half horrified and half morbidly curious.

"Well I've been planning it all day and this is what I've come up with…"

* * *

"You have got to be joking me!" exclaimed James after Sirius showed him the diagram.

"No James I'm serious" said Sirius patiently.

"They are all going to laugh at me!"

"No the trained eye will appreciate it, the rest are just idiots."

"No way!"

"If you back out you have to serenade McGonagall as a forfeit" threatened Sirius. At this James shot a death glare at Remus for making the bloody bet in the first place.

"That wasn't part of the deal" said Remus calmly.

"Well it is now, in return you can make a forfeit for me if I decide to back out."

"Deal" said Remus.

"Mooney!" screeched James.

"Well if I'm honest I'm interested in what will come of this one" replied Remus smirking.

"I hate you" grumbled James sticking his tongue out at the smug werewolf.

"Anyway I think we better do the hair tonight…." trailed of Sirius as James tried to run away only to be restrained by a spell shot by Remus.

Seeing Remus, Sirius and Peter advance on him James prayed to God he could fix the damage.

* * *

Waking up James had a blissful moment in which he couldn't remember anything. He just lay in his bed in the world between consciousness and unconsciousness floating in a bubble between the two realms. Suddenly the bubble was popped however as he made the transition to the world of consciousness and everything flooded back to him.

Sitting up he wrenched back his hangings and saw his fellow Marauders standing looking at him with predatory glints in their eyes.

* * *

_Lily POV_

Lily woke up and was greeted by Alice jumping up and down excitedly.

"What is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Frank asked me to stay with him and his parents for Christmas last night!" yelled the happy girl excitedly.

"Oh that's great" said Lily slowly gaining awareness.

"What about you and James?" asked Alice mysteriously.

"What about me and him?"

"Well it doesn't seem like he's gonna give up, this week especially he really been going at it."

"Urgh don't remind me!" groaned Lily a blush spreading over her normally pale complexion.

"You love it really!" teased Alice.

"No I don't!" yelled the red head her face burning scarlet now.

"Tell you what, I bet you five galleons that you will be going out with him by the end of the week!" declared Alice.

"Deal" agreed Lily smirking.

"Don't be so sure of yourself" warned Alice.

"Whatever, we better be going to breakfast" said Lily looking at her watch.

* * *

Sitting down at the breakfast table Alice was chatting happily to Frank. Buttering her toast Lily wondered what James had planned for today. It was strange, this week he seem oddly persistent and so it was only natural that she was wary. Hearing murmuring she looked over to the cause of the commotion. The Marauder's had just entered the Great Hall. Urgh what was it about them that made everyone turn their heads! They weren't even that good looking for goodness sake! Oh and not to mention their arrogance...

Lily continued along this trail of thought ignoring the world around her. Suddenly Alice emitted a burst of laughter shaking Lily out of her reverie.

"What is it?" she asked rather dazed.

"Just look at him!" yelled Alice pointing in the direction of the Marauders.

"Look at who?"

"James" said Alice rolling her eyes.

Craning her neck Lily looked up the table, everyone it seemed was looking at them and she could see why for once. James's normally black hair was dyed hot pink with little bunches. If this wasn't bad enough he wore a tartan waistcoat with a white shirt and sombrero. Since he was sitting down she couldn't see what else he was wearing but what she had seen was enough to send her in stitches.

_"What the hell"_ she thought after she was done laughing.

Seeing everyone was getting up she followed only to stop dead in her tracks as James walked over to her. If it couldn't get any worse he was wearing shorts exposing his muscular, tanned legs complete with green golfing socks. Staring she saw that James looked incredibly uncomfortable with the situation.

"What the hell are you wearing!" she asked when he was standing before her.

"Um... doesn't matter, will go out with me?" asked James, looking at his feet.

The sight was endearing and Lily felt a little bit of pity for the man standing in front of her. This clearly wasn't his idea and she was almost tempted to say yes to cheer him up. However at this moment she remembered her bet with Alice. Drat.

"Er... no" she said finally, realising the pause had stretched on for a little longer than it should have.

"Okay then" said James trying to achieve some sort of nonchalance but failing miserably.

Seeing him walk away she felt a pang of guilt but she had never lost a bet yet, this would be no exception. Plus if she agreed she doubted she would survive Alice's gloating.

* * *

_James POV_

Walking away James smiled, she had almost said 'yes' he could see it in her eyes. No matter how ridiculous he felt this alone managed to put a spring in his step.


	5. Thursday

**A/N: Hey guys sorry for the late update my computer was being an idiot and not loading up fanfiction. Twas irritating to say the least. I'm amazed at the amount of feedback this has got, I was initially just writing this because I said I would and so I never thought people would actually like it! Now I'm finding it quite enjoyable deciding what Sirius should come up with next... *evil laugh*  
**

**If you have any suggestions please message or review, I'm running pretty low on ideas and there is still a few days left!**

**DISCLAIMER: Definately do not own Harry Potter or the couplets, but I do own a chocolate bar *grins***

**Couplet (according to my favourite online dictionary): **

**A pair of successive lines of verse, esp. a pair that rhyme and are of the same length. (basically two lines that rhyme and have the same meter/length)  
**

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review.**

* * *

James looked up wearily from his cornflakes, he was tired of this but he would be damned if he serenaded McGonagall!

"What is it Sirius?" he asked, half wary of the glint in his friend's eyes.

"I have an idea!" announced the animagus proudly. At this those Gryffindors within hearing range groaned, sure it was amusing watching James make a fool of himself but the fallout - namely Lily's reaction - was scary to behold.

"What is it?" hissed James.

"Like I'm going to tell you now!" exclaimed Sirius as Lily entered the hall. Following his line of gaze James blushed and ducked his head dangerously close to his cornflakes.

"I can't believe I wore that in front of her" he moaned.

"Yes but it did attract her attention" said Sirius pointedly.

"Yeah but now I'm a laughing stock!" said James pointing to the snickering Slytherins.

"Ah but young one in time you shall see that with suffering comes a greater appreciation of pleasure" said Sirius, adopting sage wizard mode.

"Shut up Padfoot!" said James laughing at Sirius's display of what he thought wisdom was.

"Hey! I can so be smart!"

"Peacocking Sirius, where did you come up with that?" asked James, laughing internally.

"Yes well it worked" said Sirius getting flustered.

"Where. Did. You. Get. It?"

"Oh he has a bunch of Teen Witch magazines under his bed" piped up Peter who grew silent suddenly as Sirius's piercing gaze fell upon him.

"And why is that?" asked James, well aware that all these magazines were full of was gossip.

"Er... no reason..."

"Why?"

"Ithasgoodhaircaretips" rushed Sirius.

"Say that slower" ordered James.

"It has good hair care tips" said Sirius resigned. The laughter of his fellow Gryffindors deafened him as Sirius's remark was passed around.

"We're going now!" said Sirius grabbing James's arm, his cheeks tinted with a faint blush that was all the physical manifestation his embarrassment could rouse.

Once away from the midst of their peers laughter Sirius turned to him.

"Right anyway my idea, I thought you could possibly send her love poetry. She knows your interesting, she knows your bold, now she needs to know your sensitive!"

"I'm going to look like a bloody ponce" groaned James.

"Do you want to serenade McGonagall?" threatened Sirius.

"Fine I'll do it!" exclaimed James.

"Right well here I've already written the poems down, all you have to do is rip one off, scrunch it up, point it at Lily and say conicio" explained Sirius pulling a dog-eared piece of parchment from his pocket.

"Okay but we need to get to Defence" said James, cringing at what was to come.

* * *

Sitting at his desk James looked at the first couplet:

_'My soul is yours, our lives we'll share._  
_I can't express how much I care.'_

Wondering who wrote this drivel he did as Sirius said, hitting his target beautifully. Lily noticing something hit her hair pulled it out. Upon seeing it was a note she uncrumpled it, quickly reading it before putting it away without a second glance.

Deciding he should send more James ripped of a couple and read them quickly:

_'I ache to be your one true love,_  
_with a blessing from above.'_

_'This bond we share, that no one knows,_  
_will bring the circle to a close.'_

Groaning internally at the rhymes he sent them across. Seeing no reaction he proceeded to send more until he had run out. Looking over at Lily he saw paper peppering her hair. He hadn't realised he'd sent that many. Shrinking in his chair he saw Sirius grin at him, this wasn't good.

* * *

_Lily POV_

"Lily you have something in your hair" pointed out Alice giggling.  
"What?"

"Here" said her friend picking out a few.

Unravelling one Lily peered down:

_'Holding you always in my heart;_  
_together even when apart.'_

She recognised Sirius's scrawl anywhere. Scowling she glanced at James. His hopeful expression almost made her smile until she remembered her and Alice's bet. Said friend was now smirking at her, well aware of the emotional battle going on inside her friend. Shoving the smile away she concentrated on her work.

Lily Evans did not lose.

* * *

_James POV_

Smiling he stood up. She hadn't reacted but at least she wasn't shrieking at him. Watching he saw her dust the awful poetry from her sleek hair and walk out the classroom.

For the first time in six years James Potter thought he had a chance.


	6. Friday

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for the feedback. I know its short but there was only so much I wanted to include in this chapter without making it seem too much.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: Nope I really don't own Harry Potter!**

**I apologise for any and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me!" yelled James as he scanned the list Sirius handed him.

It was Thursday night and the Marauders were clustered around the crackling fire. The wind howled outside the ancient castle, going down the red brick chimney causing the fire to flicker casting long shadows over the walls. James occupied one of the cushy armchairs with Sirius seated in the one opposite, the grin on his face was enough to make even an immortal wary. Remus and Peter were sitting on the couch glancing at James with concern.

"I assure you it will work" said Sirius.

"What will work?" asked Remus, his curiosity ignited. All he knew was that Sirius had handed James a piece of parchment and that the boy's face had paled considerably.

In answer James handed Remus the parchment. Scanning down it the werewolf chuckled to himself, at this rate Lily would murder him.

* * *

James awoke to the sound of his dorm mates bustling about.

_No doubt eager to watch me die _thought James bitterly. Out of all the things Sirius had made him do this was by far one of the worst. He was going to look like a complete and utter moron. Reluctantly he pulled the hangings back resisting the urge to hide under his blankets - he was seventeen for God sake!

Dressing quickly he pulled out the piece of parchment once more and reviewed it, his heart sinking with each line. According to Sirius he now needed to show he was a player. Initially James scoffed at this but Sirius had reasoned that once Lily saw he never needed to go after her then she would see how deeply he cared about her. Unfortunately pulling of the 'player' act meant he had to be able to recite the words on the parchment and sound like he had used them a lot. In fact he had never even heard of some of these phrases let alone understanding them!

"James are you ready?" asked Sirius bounding over to him.

"Do I have to do this?"

"Well that depends how much to want to tell McGonagall how much you love her" said Sirius simply, and evil glint in his eyes. Honestly sometimes James could see why people were surprise that he wasn't in Slytherin.

Glaring at Remus they made their way down to the Great Hall a little later than usual. Seeing Lily sitting with Alice, James strode over, trying to look like he oozed confidence.

"Potter" acknowledged Lily before going back to buttering her toast.

"I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you" said James smoothly.

"Really? I wasn't even aware you were even sentient" replied Lily calmly.

Deterred a little James pressed on -

"Being without you is like being under the cruciatus curse."

"Huh funny its the exact opposite for me!" said Lily, much to the amusement of her fellow students.

"You know the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword."

"Too bad like Godric's its also old and rusty!" exclaimed Lily, at this the Gryffindors around her started openly laughing.

His face burning he decided to try once more -

"One night with me and they'll be calling you Moaning Myrtle" waggling his eyebrows for added effect.

"What are you that bad that people complain after!" yelled Lily. This time even the teachers started laughing.

Walking back he sat next to Sirius who was chortling heartily.

"Thanks for laughing at my pain!" exclaimed James, struggling to be heard over the laughter of his peers.

This day couldn't get any worse.

Seeing a note flutter down in front of him he grabbed it and saw it was only one word -

_Sorry_

Hmm maybe things weren't so bad after all he thought with a smile.

* * *

Sirius laughed as he saw James making a total fool of himself. Seeing that his friend was having absolutely no luck he decided he would have to put his plan into action.

There was no way he was going to proclaim his love for Snape after all.

* * *

**A/N: The idea in this chapter was suggested by writergirl318, I thought it would be amusing to make it Harry Potter universe related lines instead of the usual ones. I began to feel sorry for James though by the end which is why I added the note from Lily - I'm not that cruel. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it and any feedback is welcomed :)**


	7. Saturday

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for the feedback, there is only one more chapter left to go *cheers* I'm pretty sure you've all guessed what this chapter is going to include though but still I hope you enjoy it :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter :(**

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

"Why won't you tell me what you have planned?" asked James as the Marauder's walked into the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Because I've already arranged it so you don't need to do anything, for it to generate a realistic reaction you must be in the dark" explain Sirius patiently.

"Hey Potter are you using the confundus charm or are you naturally mind blowing" yelled Snape from the Slytherin table, said table erupted in laughter at this remark.

"Snivellus I never thought you had a mind to blow, didn't you give it to Voldemort when you joined him?" yelled back James, much to the Gryffindors delight.

Sitting down James proceeded to pile as much bacon as possible on his plate.

"James your going to give yourself a heart attack eating all that" came Lily's voice.

Looking up James saw that Lily had sat next to him. Suddenly his mouth felt as dry as a stranded man in the Sahara dessert.

"I'd rather die young and have a good life than grow old and not have one at all" James managed to retort. Glancing over at Sirius he saw the boy had a big grin on his face.

_"Probably thinks he's going to win the bet"_ thought James, before returning to his plate.

Leaning over to pick up the pitcher of pumpkin juice he never noticed that Lily had reached for it at the same time. Their hands brushed and instantly James yanked his back quickly in shock.

"You first" he said to Lily, smiling and trying not to show how flustered he was. Man he was acting like a bloody school girl for heavens sake!

Picking up the pitcher Lily poured herself a glass before filling up James' also. Smiling his thanks he took a draught of it and sighed as the familiar blend flowed over his taste buds. Withdrawing the glass from his lips he suddenly felt a little lightheaded. Glancing at Lily he saw that she too had an almost dazed expression on her face. When she looked round at him and their eyes connected he felt a sudden warmth almost inflate in his chest.

Holding out his hand he tentatively brushed Lily's arm from wrist to elbow. Mirroring his movements James felt Lily do the same thing. Immediately a rush of desire blew away all conscious though and he leaned in to kiss her.

_"No this is wrong"_ came a voice at the back of his mind, _"stop it, now!"_

Not conscious of his actions their lips met before James pulled away quickly. His eyes filled with comprehension as he looked from the pitcher and back to Sirius's smug grin. Standing up he ran out of the hall. Not waiting a moment Lily followed, that dreamy look still etched on her face.

"Sirius what did you put in their drinks?" asked Remus, glaring at the animagus.

"Just a smidgeon of a love potion I ordered from Witch Weekly" replied Sirius attempting damage control.

"Sirius" warned Remus, his eyes narrowing, "you know that potion only intensifies the feelings of the recipients or did you miss that when you read up on it?"

"Shit, it should wear off in an hour though" defended Sirius.

"It better because if it doesn't I'm pretty sure you'll need to update your will" growled Remus.

* * *

_James POV_

Sitting on a tree stump at the edge of the Forbidden Forest James tugged at the binds attached to him. His one moment of rational though had led him to hide himself from Lily and prevent him from running to her when his mind was once again overwhelmed by the potion. This was why he was now bound by tight ropes holding him to the piece of rotting wood, disillusioned and he more than anything wanted to find Lily beyond all rational thought.

Pulling at the bindings once more James winced as the rope chaffed his wrists. Slowly he felt the burning desire in his chest fade to a slight warmth until it was extinguished completely.

Blinking he wondered why he was in the forest until the memories came flooding back to him.

He was going to kill Sirius!

"James?" came a gentle voice.

"Yes" he replied.

Seeing Lily appear in his line of sight he cursed until he saw she no longer possessed a dazed expression. Calling out again she walked towards him, confusion plain on her features.

"Where are you?" she called.

"I'm here, cast finite incantatum" he replied.

Complying relief clouded her features when he materialised in front of her. Sighing he felt the ropes release him and rubbed his aching wrists.

"Why were you tied up and disillusioned?" asked Lily.

"Because I never wanted you to do anything you would regret. I figured that I would hide myself until the effects had worn off" answered James nonchalantly.

"What was that?" asked Lily, not elaborating but James understood nonetheless.

"That was Sirius drugging us with a love potion" explained James.

"It shouldn't have been as strong as that" said Lily, her brow furrowed as she tried to work it out.

"Yes love potions only emphasis feelings the recipients already have for each other" said James wearily.

"So that means you love me and I must love you" concluded Lily.

"Well yes didn't you wonder why I've been making a fool of myself all week?"

"I suppose I did but I just thought you were joking" confessed Lily.

"Because I would wear horrid outfits and say bad pick up lines as a joke" said James smiling.

"Well you have to admit it has been done before" laughed Lily.

"I'm going to kill Sirius" growled James.

"I knew it! I knew those ideas were all his!" exclaimed Lily.

"Do you mind if I use one of my own?" asked James grinning.

"Of course not Mr Potter" agreed Lily, also grinning.

"Lily Evans, I have loved you since second year and have spent all the years since trying to claim your affections. In this endeavour you've shot me down with many a cold remark. So now I ask you one last time, will you go out with me?" asked James in all seriousness.

"Well its going to cost me five galleons but I suppose so" said Lily regally before laughing at how formal they were being.

"Why will you lose five galleons?" asked James as they walked back up to the castle.

"Oh I made a bet with Alice that I wouldn't cave and go out with you by the end of this week" said Lily shrugging.

"Well if you think that's bad I have to serenade McGonagall tomorrow at breakfast!" exclaimed James, blushing at the thought.

"Oh should I be jealous?" asked Lily trying to maintain a straight face at James's horrified expression.

"Yes you should, I love her so much and would do anything to be with her" said James sarcastically, effectively making Lily break down into fits of laughter.

Before they entered DADA James felt Lily pull him back slightly.

"What is it?" he asked puzzled.

"I just want to say thank you for not taking advantage of me when I was under that potion, it is that reason more than any that I said yes" whispered Lily before kissing him gently.

Watching her walk into the classroom James pressed a hand to his lips in disbelief. He was now going out with Lily Evans and said Lily had just kissed him. Feeling a little light headed, this time not because of the potion, he strode into the classroom uncaring that tomorrow he would lose all his dignity.

* * *

**A/N: To elabourate James tied himself up and disillusioned himself when was managing to think clearly. He did this because he knew that soon the potion would overwhelm him and that if that happened and he wasn't restrained and hidden then he and Lily could end up doing things that they would regret later, if that makes sense...**


	8. Sunday

**A/N: Thank you for sticking with this story guys, I appreciate the feedback you've given me and I really never expected a lot of interest. I'm dedicating this chapter to all those who have taken the time to review, your response has really motivated me :)**

** I know it is short but really the story ended at the last chapter and I hope you enjoy :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter *sigh***

**I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.**

**Please Review!**

* * *

"Here's five galleons" said Lily, handing over the gold coins to her friend.

"To be honest I'm glad you lost, I haven't seen such a heart warming sight in so long" laughed Alice.

"Hmm true, do you think I should be worried?" asked Lily smirking.

"Yes I mean look at the way he keeps blushing!" exclaimed Alice turning to look at the display.

Currently James, Lupin and Peter were standing in front of the staff table singing 'A Cauldron Full Of Hot, Strong Love' by Celestina Warbeck.

They had just reached the chorus and Lily was trying to hard not to laugh at McGonagall's shocked expression. None of the other teachers however were doing anything to stop it about it and in fact Flitwick was singing along!

_'Oh, come and stir my cauldron  
And if you do it right  
I'll boil you up some hot, strong love_  
_To keep you warm tonight'_

Lily cringed as James hit a flat note but Sirius just cackled gleefully, holding up his camcorder to capture the moment.

"Your never going to let them forget this are you?" asked Lily.

"Definitely not," laughed Sirus before yelling, "Give her a kiss James!"

"Shut up!" yelled James back, raising his middle finger at the animagus.

"Why Sirius if I never knew better I would think that you wanted to kiss McGonagall" said Alice sweetly.

"Oh no my secret is revealed!" exclaimed Sirius clutching his heart dramatically.

The song was winding down now and as James belted out the last note the hall erupted in applause. Taking a bow James and Remus smile sheepishly whilst Peter quickly scurried to his seat.

"Well done mate!" yelled Sirius, clapping James on the back.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you" replied James, eyeing the camcorder.

"Oh don't worry I'll hide it where no one will find it. At least until your children are old enough to see it" said Sirius grinning evilly.

* * *

_1998_

Harry had finally decided to clean out Sirius's room at Grimmauld Place. He recruited Ginny to help him and so they had spent all summer tidying the house so it was fit for living in. Not being able to avoid it any longer they now finally they ventured into the room he had stayed clear of for so long. Pulling boxes out from under his vast bed he began rummaging through them. Seeing a photo album he decided to keep that separate to look at later on that evening. Digging a little further he found a video.

"Hmm what is this doing here?" he questioned aloud.

Flipping it over in his hands he saw scrawled in Sirius's almost illegible hand writing:

_'How To Get A Girl In Seven Days: The Aftermath'_

"What Harry?" asked Ginny, in the process of cleaning out the wardrobe.

"I've just found a video, do you want to watch it later?"

"Yeah sure, I'll send Dobby for some popcorn when we're done" answered Ginny before venturing back into the wardrobe.

His curiosity roused Harry put it to the side and got back to the task at hand.

* * *

**A/N: I know muggle appliances can't work in Hogwarts so lets just say the camcorder worked on magic.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read this :)**


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